Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

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Expand view Topic review: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by CocoRose » Fri Nov 10, 2023 6:20 pm

I've booked McNean house for my birthday next year.

Happy Birthday elizadoo!

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by KikkiD » Fri Nov 10, 2023 5:08 pm

elizadoo, belated happy birthday! I think you do need to remind teenagers, even if they don't earn money they can do a card and things for you eg. make you breakfast, lunch, etc. I think its really important you are acknowledged!! xxx

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by mcmammy2 » Thu Nov 09, 2023 8:25 pm

Elizadoi happy birthday to you and do go enjoy your day and make it known you will be doing it beforehand. You are worth it 😘

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by mcmammy2 » Thu Nov 09, 2023 8:22 pm

It was at the time but it's been a few years since and he has made the effort. Once I can forgive but more than once and it's not forgivable in my book. I think it's important to be kind to ourselves and when best to do it but your birthday. I have two friends who now do the same. I celebrate their birthdays as they do mine and it's lovely.

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by elizaDoo » Thu Nov 09, 2023 7:17 pm

mcmammy2 wrote: ↑Thu Nov 09, 2023 7:10 pm I take a day off work every year for my birthday. It's my present to myself. Dh forgot my birthday twice. After second time I made sure I went off with friends for day and spent what I liked on myself every birthday since He hasn't forgotten since the second time. However once bitten. The second time it happened his birthday was barely acknowledged and he saw just how hurtful it was. Might seem mean but it is bloody important to have one day about yourself when every other day we put others first.
That must have been very hurtful. Next year I’m going to take a leaf out of your book and book a day to myself and do whatever I like and everyone can fend for themselves..I may even go for a week.

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by mcmammy2 » Thu Nov 09, 2023 7:10 pm

I take a day off work every year for my birthday. It's my present to myself. Dh forgot my birthday twice. After second time I made sure I went off with friends for day and spent what I liked on myself every birthday since He hasn't forgotten since the second time. However once bitten. The second time it happened his birthday was barely acknowledged and he saw just how hurtful it was. Might seem mean but it is bloody important to have one day about yourself when every other day we put others first.

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by elizaDoo » Thu Nov 09, 2023 7:00 pm

Yeah I’m not even into birthdays but it just felt flat to not be appreciated. I give them bloody everything and all my time. Funny thing is last year they both had a card and something small so I know they aren’t always thoughtless. But it’s like this year they can’t be bothered. Wouldn’t mind if they didn’t have time or we didn’t live right near a shopping centre. Anyway I’m being passive aggressive now at home so I need to say it. Might leave it till tomorrow.

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by RDR » Thu Nov 09, 2023 6:53 pm

Goose wrote: ↑Sat Nov 04, 2023 11:46 pmI have decided that next year I am going to do something nice for myself and I am not waiting about for somebody else to think of me.
Just the other day in work someone was talking about a friend who takes the day off work for her birthday every year and does whatever it is she fancies. Not everyone was taken by the idea though I think it has a lot to be said for it (horses for courses).

Enjoy the planning!

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by RDR » Thu Nov 09, 2023 6:51 pm

elizaDoo wrote: ↑Thu Nov 09, 2023 6:10 pm Thanks Ali. Was feeling that my reaction is petty but it’s probably that I’m more hurt that both of them are being thoughtless when they have certainly not been brought up to be. Wondering again somehow am I to blame :biggrin: us mother swill always find a way to blame ourselves.
You only get to take the blame if in 10 years time they are still doing the same AND (most importantly) if you never said anything. We're not miracle workers. But our job is to call them out when they fall short. As adults they get to make the decisions about their behaviour and it is on them entirely at that stage.

I've been there with a Mother's Day many years ago. There were mixed opinions on here (or maybe it was MM) about whether or not I was being unreasonable as the culprit was much younger (but as his mum I knew he was old enough to know better). It has never happened again with any of them. It is important that kids understand that their parents are people with feelings and that we can be hurt. And of course important that they understand that they are not the centre of the universe, a belief that often seems to be part of teen wiring.

Here's to better birthdays :cheers:

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by TCR » Thu Nov 09, 2023 6:30 pm

I agree with Ali. Tell them.
Happy birthday.
Only dd1 here ever makes an effort. She covers for the other lazy asses. Dh to be fair is great but doesn’t nag them like I do when it’s his birthday.

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by elizaDoo » Thu Nov 09, 2023 6:10 pm

Thanks Ali. Was feeling that my reaction is petty but it’s probably that I’m more hurt that both of them are being thoughtless when they have certainly not been brought up to be. Wondering again somehow am I to blame :biggrin: us mother swill always find a way to blame ourselves.

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by ali » Thu Nov 09, 2023 6:06 pm

Ah I would have a word with the 2 of them about that, they need to learn that they have to appreciate the people they love, the people that care for them. Whatever about a husband not doing anything we need to teach our kids to think of others. Would let them know your hurt about them not getting you a card, ask them how they would feel if you just ignored their birthdays.

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by elizaDoo » Thu Nov 09, 2023 5:54 pm

Similar feelings here but think I’m being petty. Got some nice presents from DH last night but neither kids even got me so much as a card. 14 and 17 and have their own money. A candle from Penneys or a token of appreciation and I would have been over the moon. I go OTT on their birthdays as I love celebrating another year older but I feel that they are both being thoughtless even though they have always had a fanfare made of their bdays. Or is it too much to expect of teens to care about anyone but themselves.

Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by NDM » Sat Nov 04, 2023 11:54 pm

Goose wrote:Happy birthday.

I wrote a similar post recently. It seems petty to be cribbing but it's only one day of the year so it's not too much to expect to be treated some bit extra special on one day that is not the usual holidays.

I hope by now you are feeling a little better. I have decided that next year I am going to do something nice for myself and I am not waiting about for somebody else to think of me.
Here here

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Re: Feeling unappreciated on birthday.

by Goose » Sat Nov 04, 2023 11:46 pm

Happy birthday.

I wrote a similar post recently. It seems petty to be cribbing but it's only one day of the year so it's not too much to expect to be treated some bit extra special on one day that is not the usual holidays.

I hope by now you are feeling a little better. I have decided that next year I am going to do something nice for myself and I am not waiting about for somebody else to think of me.

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