by Grumpy bear » Thu Sep 23, 2021 8:42 am
I've gone anon for this one. Some background on this. Covid aside, we have had a really tough few years. We've had an additional needs diagnosis, serious illness for more than one family member, an elderly relative needing extra care and the death of an immediate family member. And that's just the big stuff. Lots of other crappy smaller things have happened us to. Covid just made everything much harder to deal with. DH was struggling so spoke to his GP and got signed off work. Advice was don't just expect to go back to work fine if you do nothing to help yourself while you're off. So cert finishes, he doesn't go back to work and has done nothing the doctor suggested. I struggle with my own mental health and sympathise with him but I'm carrying the family all by myself nad have done the lion's share of keeping us going for the last few years so am annoyed that he is just dossing round the house all day and won't seek help.
He did very little to help around the house anyway but I let it go because he was working full time and I knew he was finding work stressful. Bar going for walks he is sitting round the house all day watching tv while I run myself ragged trying to look after DS and help out other family members. I stopped my part time job earlier in the year because I just could't balance everything and was exhausted. DH did suggest maybe i should speak to someone about everything that has gone on but I did try a community counselling service a few years ago and ended up with a not very empathetic counsellor so left after one session. He won't take his own advice though. Says he just doesn't see himself speaking to someone. The Doc did recommend a counsellor who could help but he won't contact her.
As a petty example, the saucepans he used last night are still in the kitchen sink and he's still in bed and I've already battled with DS to get him ready for his school bus. Given he has so much time to himself AIBU to expect he might spend some time with DS to give me a break or do a bit round the house. There's no talking to him. I asked him yesterday of he had contacted the doctor to extend his cert and got a smart answer. I find it very hard to be supportive when he won't help himself and he knows how hard daily life is for me. I don't have the luxury of just giving up although there are days when I want to just pull the duvet over my head and not get up.
Sorry for the rant but just need to get it out.
I've gone anon for this one. Some background on this. Covid aside, we have had a really tough few years. We've had an additional needs diagnosis, serious illness for more than one family member, an elderly relative needing extra care and the death of an immediate family member. And that's just the big stuff. Lots of other crappy smaller things have happened us to. Covid just made everything much harder to deal with. DH was struggling so spoke to his GP and got signed off work. Advice was don't just expect to go back to work fine if you do nothing to help yourself while you're off. So cert finishes, he doesn't go back to work and has done nothing the doctor suggested. I struggle with my own mental health and sympathise with him but I'm carrying the family all by myself nad have done the lion's share of keeping us going for the last few years so am annoyed that he is just dossing round the house all day and won't seek help.
He did very little to help around the house anyway but I let it go because he was working full time and I knew he was finding work stressful. Bar going for walks he is sitting round the house all day watching tv while I run myself ragged trying to look after DS and help out other family members. I stopped my part time job earlier in the year because I just could't balance everything and was exhausted. DH did suggest maybe i should speak to someone about everything that has gone on but I did try a community counselling service a few years ago and ended up with a not very empathetic counsellor so left after one session. He won't take his own advice though. Says he just doesn't see himself speaking to someone. The Doc did recommend a counsellor who could help but he won't contact her.
As a petty example, the saucepans he used last night are still in the kitchen sink and he's still in bed and I've already battled with DS to get him ready for his school bus. Given he has so much time to himself AIBU to expect he might spend some time with DS to give me a break or do a bit round the house. There's no talking to him. I asked him yesterday of he had contacted the doctor to extend his cert and got a smart answer. I find it very hard to be supportive when he won't help himself and he knows how hard daily life is for me. I don't have the luxury of just giving up although there are days when I want to just pull the duvet over my head and not get up.
Sorry for the rant but just need to get it out.