heymammy.com

Your feelings are very valid. He lied to you and then tried to brush it off as if he didn't understand how it made you feel and made you feel that you were overreacting. If it was me I too would be fuming.

I don't know how you are going to sort this out but I guess the best thing you can do is sit him down and explain to him that his actions have made you so angry and hurt. And not only that but to watch porn whilst the kids are watching tv in the next room -think that would have tipped me over the edge. Very irresponsible imho.

Hope your OK

Your feelings are yours to own , even if millions of others have a different feeling , that doesn’t make yours less significant, sit down and tell how it makes you feel , just because all men do it doesn’t make it okay, hope someone on here can help

I agree with RDR. You feel how you feel. He doesn’t get to decide how you should feel.
Not sure how to resolve it though.

I can't pm you as you are using an anon username. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to.

I'm sorry and no you don't need to tell yourself you should feel differently to how you feel.

There are layers of issues here: from using porn, to using it with disregard to your children, to lying and being prepared to lay the blame on your child, to thinking that porn is never a problem, to maintaining "all men do it" (so similar (and equally incorrect) to children using the "everyone else" line), and crucially failing to see that if something you do upsets your partner then it is disrespectful to attempt to minimise that issue and not hear or engage with the partner.

If he genuinely wants to understand something of what porn actually does and why it is problematic then this site is good: https://fightthenewdrug.org/ If he wants to defend his choices he might at least get something more to back up his argument than "every man does it" and how pleasurable a porn-fuelled wank is to him.

There are many many reasons why you may have a problem with what he is doing. I know I would but my reasons may not be yours. And others will hold different views. But whatever people's views are, it is not ok for him to minimise or dismiss your feelings and concerns.

So no, you are not over-reacting and you do not need to "cop on". Maybe he does.

Girls

I found out that my DH has been using porn sites. I was out last Sat with friends and from the search history he was online from 8pm until 11.30pm. What disgusts me is that our DS's were in the room next to him and could easily have walked in to the room. In fact the door has a glass panel so all they had to do was look in to the room.

When I asked him about it he denied it and didn't know what I was on about. Then I thought maybe our 15yr DS was looking stuff up and said it to DH who said oh maybe he . He said we can block it. But then I had a look at the search history and the date and times and knew damn well it wasn't my ds.

My DH doesn't seem to think this is a problem. He says all men do it. But I just can't get this image out of my head. It wasn't a quick look it was 3.5hours of it and then our kids are watching tv in the next room.

I just feel so let down and upset. Maybe I'm over reacting and need a good dose of cop on?