by janeymac » Wed Nov 20, 2019 11:05 am
If op or her husband really want to pursue this, I would go softly softly. The friend told it in a very offhand casual way the way it sounds-i.e your dh grabbed my ass, don't mention it to him as he'd be embarrassed and it's no big deal as I get my ass grabbed all the time. The friend seems almost flattered, certainly not upset by the whole thing.
The most I'd do as op is definitely not put anything in writing, just keep it as casual as the friend did. Say the husband denies it and is very very upset and certain he didn't grope her. Could she be mistaken? I would give her the opportunity to backtrack without losing face. If you go in hard, talking of sexual assault and solicitors etc, she may feel compelled to stick to her story even if not true. And it also gives her opportunity to explain the situation to you if she feels it did happen. But I would tread carefully. Mud does stick.
I wouldn't be starting a process to clear my dh's name of a sexual assault accusation if the friend is not calling it this and I didn't believe it happened. Unless the friend is telling people, op would be absolutely crazy to go this road imo. No matter how it panned out, a sexual assault accusation is not something you want your family associated with. And it would linger forever....other parents worried about their kids in your house as your dh had some sort of sexual assault accusation.....the friend is not calling sexual assault-op would be mad to set something like this in motion. The repercussions are so so serious. That is how I would advise if the op was a friend. The op's friend can get her own advice.
If op or her husband really want to pursue this, I would go softly softly. The friend told it in a very offhand casual way the way it sounds-i.e your dh grabbed my ass, don't mention it to him as he'd be embarrassed and it's no big deal as I get my ass grabbed all the time. The friend seems almost flattered, certainly not upset by the whole thing.
The most I'd do as op is definitely not put anything in writing, just keep it as casual as the friend did. Say the husband denies it and is very very upset and certain he didn't grope her. Could she be mistaken? I would give her the opportunity to backtrack without losing face. If you go in hard, talking of sexual assault and solicitors etc, she may feel compelled to stick to her story even if not true. And it also gives her opportunity to explain the situation to you if she feels it did happen. But I would tread carefully. Mud does stick.
I wouldn't be starting a process to clear my dh's name of a sexual assault accusation if the friend is not calling it this and I didn't believe it happened. Unless the friend is telling people, op would be absolutely crazy to go this road imo. No matter how it panned out, a sexual assault accusation is not something you want your family associated with. And it would linger forever....other parents worried about their kids in your house as your dh had some sort of sexual assault accusation.....the friend is not calling sexual assault-op would be mad to set something like this in motion. The repercussions are so so serious. That is how I would advise if the op was a friend. The op's friend can get her own advice.