No sex drive

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At a loss
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No sex drive

#1 Post by At a loss »

this has caused so many arguments and hurt for me and my husband.

Since having the kids I have no interest in sex at all. My husband on the other hand has a high sex drive. I try to be into it but it feels like a chore and I get little or no pleasure from it. DH has admitted he knows this and it makes him feel like I don't want him, find him attractive or have any passion for him.

He says it feel like I want him as a bestfriend and not a husband. None of this is true I love him with all my heart and after 10 years he is still the most attractive man in my eyes.

If feel so guilty and terrible for making him feel like this but I have no idea how to get back to how I used to be

Please tell me this is normal or what I should do
ali
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Re: No sex drive

#2 Post by ali »

Well having no interest at all is not normal. As parents to young kids we all go through dry spells but there is always still a spark there. To never feel the urge I would think maybe hormonal. Would you consider getting your bloods done, could be a very simple explanation causing your lack of sex drive.
Clara
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Re: No sex drive

#3 Post by Clara »

How are other areas in your life? Are you happy? Are you sleeping and eating well? Are you stressed?
At a loss
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Re: No sex drive

#4 Post by At a loss »

I'm open to trying anything. Do I just go to the doctor and say Iv no sex drive?

Life is good other wise expect for feeling like work and home life are taking over. I can't get on top of cleaning and ironing/washing so that stresses me
tgirl
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Re: No sex drive

#5 Post by tgirl »

I have heard that what is needed for a woman to enjoy sex is a good emotional connection and an expectation of enjoyment. Would you say you have these things? (you don't have to answer here, it's just food for thought)

Otherwise, you say you find that work and home life are taking over and you can't get on top of cleaning and washing, is your DH doing his part?
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DiscoGirl
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Re: No sex drive

#6 Post by DiscoGirl »

Do you spend quality time together as a couple,nothing fancy maybe cuddling up on he sofa,holding hands watching a film,or even just out walking together and talking ,I'm most likely in the mood for sex when this happens ,in fact thinking about it the nights that we don't do this or similar I'm not interested ,that's how it works for me
CLBG
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Re: No sex drive

#7 Post by CLBG »

I think a lot of women find themselves in the same situation and it is quite common - you're trying to juggle everything, be a good mother, work, etc and it can feel like there's never time for you. Sometimes we just need a bit of minding, and sometimes our husbands don't see that. How old are you? Could you be heading into menopause? How was your sex life before you noticed this change? Has anything out of the ordinary happened that could be making you feel off-form? It could definitely be hormonal, or you could be feeling run down and caught up in mundane life and not feeling the spark, or it could be a bit of both. The main thing is that it's causing unhappiness for you both, so it would be good to see your GP and get some advice.
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Re: No sex drive

#8 Post by Working Mum »

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Last edited by Working Mum on Wed Sep 28, 2016 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
Clara
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Re: No sex drive

#9 Post by Clara »

I find the less I do it the less interested I become but when we have sex regularly I want to have sex more often if you get me.

It doesn't help when life is so busy that you just want to sleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. Can you do anything to improve your work/life situation?

Maybe a chat to your GP would be a good idea.
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Re: No sex drive

#10 Post by Goat »

If your dh was to initiate would you "come round" and enjoy it a bit? Or is there no sex what so ever
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Re: No sex drive

#11 Post by Mom of two »

Clara wrote:I find the less I do it the less interested I become but when we have sex regularly I want to have sex more often if you get me.
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I agree with this. I remember when my 2nd was born I had no interest at all for months afterwards. A friend told me to 'fake it till you make it' and you know, she was right. The more I pretended interest, the more I realised I was getting my interest back if that makes sense
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