by wishmeluk » Fri Mar 24, 2017 11:01 am
Thanks for all the advice
Answering some queries: 4 kids, 2 teens, no baby items. Currently feeding 7 in the house.
I could probably get the food down to 175 a week and have been doing so for some weeks, but often I will bulk buy something or around birthdays and Christmas, I spend more, so I am trying to capture that.
MrsGG: Yes, we make high pension contributions. Yes, musical instrument x 2
As for H finances, the reason I said to Lucy it is hard to see where his salary goes is because he gets a base salary and then once a month or so he gets a lump sum which he uses to pay off his credit card which will have built up over the month- sort of see it like a salesman claiming back expenses and getting commission on reaching certain targets and so on, although the amount is fairly similar each month, bar the odd exception, perhaps once a year.
Yes, H will have to help out, but I am hoping to make some sort of agreement where he helps less in exchange for continuing to pay the health insurance and walking away without much (any) equity in the house for now. Bar the 3, in his defence, large, bills he currently pays, I pick up everything else anyway. He constantly gives out to me about my spending. He doesn't see that the children should have any new clothes, nor I. He sees birthday gifts above a token, holidays, beauty treatments and so on as completely unnecessary, whereas I am the total opposite. Neither of us is right, of course, but it's about finding a balance.
JS: You are right, I have to cut back the activities
I feel so mean, they're good kids and per child it's not like they do a whole lot. Also, because I work full time it eases some mammy guilt.
I don't pay his phone, I pay my teens phone. I pay both car tax but he pays his own insurance.
The reasons for splitting are numerous and varied but are detailed to some extent in my thread, which I think you previously answered on, under the same "anon" user name.
Thanks all
Thanks for all the advice :inlove:
Answering some queries: 4 kids, 2 teens, no baby items. Currently feeding 7 in the house.
I could probably get the food down to 175 a week and have been doing so for some weeks, but often I will bulk buy something or around birthdays and Christmas, I spend more, so I am trying to capture that.
MrsGG: Yes, we make high pension contributions. Yes, musical instrument x 2 :o
As for H finances, the reason I said to Lucy it is hard to see where his salary goes is because he gets a base salary and then once a month or so he gets a lump sum which he uses to pay off his credit card which will have built up over the month- sort of see it like a salesman claiming back expenses and getting commission on reaching certain targets and so on, although the amount is fairly similar each month, bar the odd exception, perhaps once a year.
Yes, H will have to help out, but I am hoping to make some sort of agreement where he helps less in exchange for continuing to pay the health insurance and walking away without much (any) equity in the house for now. Bar the 3, in his defence, large, bills he currently pays, I pick up everything else anyway. He constantly gives out to me about my spending. He doesn't see that the children should have any new clothes, nor I. He sees birthday gifts above a token, holidays, beauty treatments and so on as completely unnecessary, whereas I am the total opposite. Neither of us is right, of course, but it's about finding a balance.
JS: You are right, I have to cut back the activities :cry: I feel so mean, they're good kids and per child it's not like they do a whole lot. Also, because I work full time it eases some mammy guilt.
I don't pay his phone, I pay my teens phone. I pay both car tax but he pays his own insurance.
The reasons for splitting are numerous and varied but are detailed to some extent in my thread, which I think you previously answered on, under the same "anon" user name.
Thanks all