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I'll go against the grain here ever so slightly, as you said there are a few examples, not just the mean comment. I would pull up the next person that takes the piss out of you! Don't let yourself be the butt of anyone's joke. Or I'm sure you've plenty of 'bantery feedback' you could hand them back, and let them see how thick their skin is.

You are being over sensitive and rather than worrying about what your family think of you (they wouldn't spend Christmas with you if they didn't like you), have a look at how you feel about yourself.

Like others I think you're being over-sensitive. Someone saying "Ah jaysus woman would you ever stop" (in relation to any behaviour including sending daily messages or memes) is not a sign they don't like you, it just means that they find a behaviour a bit OTT. It doesn't even mean the behaviour is OTT, just they find it that way. Families tend to be the least careful about what they say and are most likely to overstep the mark, but in most cases the bonds of love are the tightest (generalisation).

Maybe there's a bigger picture about why you feel insecure in your family, or maybe you're very sensitive in all your relationships and it might be worth looking at reasons for that. But for now, I'd say let it go and enjoy your Christmas day together.

Don't be upset OP. Are you really sure your brother's comments was mean or just how you were feeling at that moment? Your family may not always like you but they do love you xx

Mind yourself great advice above. Hope you have a lovely Christmas.

Same as the others, I think you are reading too much into what was a throwaway comment which was probably supposed to be funny, but was just clumsy. I bet your brother would be horrified to think he'd hurt you with his throwaway remark. But I wouldn't bring it up with him or you risk creating a thing over something he may not even remember saying, and then there will definitely be some awkwardness.

As a previous poster said, men can be such twits. The banter that goes on between them is unfathomable at times and it seems to be the currency they deal in. In my house (all lads), while it is mostly funny, it can occasionally hit a raw nerve in the person being slagged. (Sometimes that person is me).

I hope you have a lovely time and I bet you anything they are all delighted to gather together at your house.

Sibling banter can cut like a knive , it really is a line that gets over stepped.
Try not take offence , Shake this off and move forward if possible. If in the new year things are still unsettled for you maybe have a chat then.

I agree with everyone abov.

Think about it, ye go for drinks together…. Your brother has always responded to the funny texts… they are all coming to your house for Christmas…. And that’s just what you’ve put in your post, you probably have other examples of spending time with your siblings.
Compare that to people who don’t get on with their siblings, and you’ll see how you have a good relationship.

If they genuinely didn’t like you or were just tolerating you your brother wouldn’t respond to the texts, you’d have heard about the drinks after the fact and they wouldn’t be going to your house.

Do you have a DH/DP, if so can you talk out your feelings with him? Maybe he could reassure you n this point.
And maybe you could try analyse the feelings a little and seeks it more self-doubt or insecurity rather than anything going on with your siblings.

Cinquecento wrote: ↑Mon Dec 18, 2023 11:47 pm I too think you are being over sensitive. Siblings slag. It’s annoying at times but it’s usually just fun and banter.

I wouldn’t be having a word with your brother before Christmas. He will, most likely, be totally baffled, not remember it, not understand why it bothered you and then it’ll be a ‘thing’. I’ve been there. Men are most definitely a different species when it comes to these things.

I would only talk/pull him up on something that was genuinely out of order. This, I think, was just slagging. Give him the benefit of the doubt & enjoy your day.

I agree with this too.

I think the thing about siblings is that they will always do and say stuff that annoys you or hurts you in the moment (and they’re usually the very best placed people to push your buttons because of shared history) but that doesn’t mean they don’t like, love or value you or your relationship. Just sometimes things we do annoy siblings and vice versa. Certainly the case with pretty much everyone I know- family relationships are complicated by lots of baggage and sensitivities but those tensions are normal. I’d try not to dwell too much if you can manage it.

I agree. siblings slag. tbh I don't like it and have tried not to let it happen with my own kids but it is what it is and doesn't mean they don't like you - not at all. Seriously not at all. They are all coming to you for christmas. They like that, they love that,. they like and love you.

A quote I read once said "You'd care less what people thought of you if you realised how seldom they do"

I don't mean to be nasty but the most likely scenario is that your brother, like a lot of us, had other whatsapps and messages coming in and probably other life stuff too and maybe just didn't see the messages til later or looked bit didn't bother acknowledging them. Personally the more I find my phone pinging with messages the more I want to put it in a drawer and forget about it so I muted most conversations now, not because I dislike anyone in them but because I prefer to take the time to consciously read messages when it suits me rather than being always available to others.
Similarly if there's other things with other family members, they're probably not spending their time thinking you're this or you're that, they're just going about their business.

If you normally enjoy hosting Christmas day please don't let this worry overshadow it, you'll be together and won't need whatsapps or likes or emojis

I think it was just sibling slagging. We do the same in my family and I know one of my siblings sometimes takes it to heart when we are just having banter.

Also as someone else said, I find if I am anyway stressed or emotional it can amplify all these types of things.

I think if they didn’t want to go to you for Christmas at least one of them would be making excuses with reasons why they can’t go. Enjoy your Christmas with them.

I too think you are being over sensitive. Siblings slag. It’s annoying at times but it’s usually just fun and banter.

I wouldn’t be having a word with your brother before Christmas. He will, most likely, be totally baffled, not remember it, not understand why it bothered you and then it’ll be a ‘thing’. I’ve been there. Men are most definitely a different species when it comes to these things.

I would only talk/pull him up on something that was genuinely out of order. This, I think, was just slagging. Give him the benefit of the doubt & enjoy your day.

And it's not pathetic to acknowledge how you feel. You might be extra sensitive right now for other reasons but I do think it sounds cruel how your brother spoke to you.